A Modern Chronicle

See if you can find 55 of the 66 books of the Bible hidden in these lines! If you can find them all, you are a real pro. Verbs, adverbs, adjectives, pronouns etc. tend to confuse the eye, so don’t get fooled! Ignore punctuation and capitalization as well. As the sailors say, “This should be a real breeze! Kiels up!” And I sez, “rack yer brain and find ‘em all!”

Timothy, Samuel, John and I saw Ian sitting dejectedly in the park. His eyes looked like he had been crying, they were so red and matt. He was neatly dressed in a hum-dinger of an outfit, yet looking so sad - like a rat in a trap.

“Hi, lemon!“ I said with a grin, “Why are you looking so dismal? A chick like the one I heard you were with last night in your Dad’s new sedan” (I elected not to reveal who was responsible for that revelation) should make any guy happy! I’ll bet she brews the best coffee in the world! Where did you get that gal?” At Ian’s left was a well worn travelogue of Corinth. Ian showed John the book and said, “We met in Corinth.” Ian’s voice got real stern as he continued, “You are absolutely right; she is a most fantastic girl. In fact, she is a real lulu! Keep your hands off her too, if you guys know what’s good for you!”

John sometimes stuttered when he got excited. “I think I kn... know who sh... she is! I s..saw her in the s... salon, Ian! She was g.. getting a p.. permanent. Sh.. she does’nt l.. look so bad. I.. ah.. (He hesitated as though he wasn’t sure if he should make the next statement), then he stammered, “Is.. a .. I.. ah.. I thought she was going steady with Philipp!”

Ian shook his head in affirmation and obvious pride, “She used to be Phillip’s girl, but now she has found a new hero!”

“Man! So that’s what happened!,” Samuel exclaimed, “I thought P.J. (that was Philipp’s nick name) is your buddy! How could Philipp’s pet err into his best friend’s arms?” Timothy spoke up at that remark, “Yep, he’s Ian’s best friend all right -- or should I say he used to be! I just saw P.J. on a hill making the saddest music I ever heard. His banjo elicited lamentations like the song of solo monkeys!”

She really chose a nice guy,” I said., “But I still can’t see why you have to sit there in the dirt! You got your new suit dirty; here is a Kleenex!”

“O’ dust won’t hurt and I don’t care a deuteron! O’ my, will I be in a jam; especially if she learns the truth about me losing my job. Formica has not been selling well and the company laid me off.” John couldn’t resist a pun at this, and quipped, “Formica Co. loss -- Ian’s pain!” I decided it was time to change the subject and asked, “Were others also laid off?” Ian hesitated and then replied, “Yes, there were numbers of other guys laid off, so I judge she just might understand, but I was about to buy a new car. You know Phillip has a really nice cruiser!” I tried to console him a bit and offered, “Eugene’s is also a pretty nice car and he bought it used. Perhaps you should consider a used car. You don’t really have to compete. Rest assured of one thing; if she is only attracted to your car, she’s not the gal for you!”

P.S. “Alms giving is better than alms receiving” - so if you liked my chronicle, send me money!

-by Ralph Harvey


Books used in order of appearance in my story: Chronicles, Proverbs, Ezekiel, Ezra, Timothy, Samuel, John, Matthew, Nahum, Kings, Philemon, Kings, Malachi, Daniel, Revelation, Hebrews, Galatians, Corinthians, John, Corinthians, Amos, Acts, Luke, John, Thessalonians, Obadiah, Isaiah, Philippians, Romans, Samuel, Peter, Timothy, Mark, Ephesians, Jonah, Joel, Lamentations, Song of Solomon, Hosea, Exodus, Deuteronomy, James, Ruth, Job, Micah, John, Colossians, Esther, Numbers, Judges, Genesis, Titus, Peter, Psalms, Chronicles.

Books not used: Ecclesiastes, Habakkuk, Haggai, Jeremiah, Joshua, Jude, Leviticus, Nehemiah, Zechariah, Zephaniah